My wife likes to refer to me as a walking disaster. Of course, I prefer the term "ticking time-bomb."

Case in point: Yesterday, I managed to turn the seemingly simple task of removing a staple from a stack of papers into a tramatic injury.

Here’s how it happened:

I used a staple remover to grab the staple from the papers. The staple didn’t come out as easy as planned the first time, and needed a second effort to gently persuade it free. Unfortunately, the remover didn’t grab well enough or something, and the free staple flung toward me at or near the speed of light. Murphy says that these things always cause the most damage and catastrophe, the same held true in my case. The staple whirled directly into my eye. There was some slight pain (like that time I flicked the fingernail clipping into it, or the time I splintered wood and a the one fleck to fly honed in on me), but nothing severe. I dabbed at my watery-eye and moved on. However, when I went into the restroom and looked at the mirror, I looked like one of those freaky guys with an eyeball tattoo.

Evidently (though I haven’t visited a Dr.) the staple caused a cut to the white of the eye, and blood flowed in through the membrane. There’s no vision damage, only a grotesque-looking 1/2-red eyeball that freaked out a coworker who’d seen brain matter, tramatic amputations, and all sorts of other nasty physical injuries.

The injury to this eyeball is similar to one I had about 4 or 5 years ago when I smashed my face on concrete after a stupid bike trick went horribly wrong. Surprising, in spite of my accident acuity, I’ve only broken two bones, my leg at 5 and my right index finger at 13, in my life. I guess I’m just like Mr. Magoo, and oblivious to the damage I’m causing around me.

The Moral: you must have insurance (workers’ compensation or other) to cover yourself at your office, especially if you’re somewhat of a ticking time-bomb for a major health or physical disaster.